The Poo Dollar in the Kootenays: Episode 2

Here is the second installment of the New Poo Dollar. Special thanks to Ivy and the city of R******D.

The Poo Dollar is Back!

After a hiatus of over four years the Poo Dollar is back and its taking no prisoners. With a new supporting cast, Peach tackles greed, need and speed with the 1st Episode of "Poo Dollar in the Kootenays". Enjoy.

The Ultimate Tournament in Pictures

Rossland Ultimate Team (RUT)

Our Digs for the Weekend

Another Day at the Office

Let's get the Party Started!

Damn we look good...

Chilly 'O'

That throw was from my "T"

Kiss my.... RUT!

Things have changed since Mom brought the Orange Wedges... Sangria at 1/2 time!

Gratuitous Lay out!

Look at that concentration

Where are you going Jimmy Buffet?

Zero to Hero in one Throw!

Everyone loves the Ladies

Not Sure whether it was athletic or just plain Fruity

Summertime Booze...

Summer time is here and life is good. It's amazing how things change when the weather gets warmer and the skirts and tops smaller. You end up staying up and out for that matter, later than any other time of year. I have no trouble eating dinner at 9.30pm in the summer and teeing off at 6.30pm thinking that if we push we can get in 18 before it gets too dark. If I did that int he winter I'd have indigestion for the rest of the week. Another thing about summer is liberties that are taken visiting your friends... "I just thought we'd drop by and give you back that cup of flour we borrowed." "Do you realize that it's a quarter to 11, you are slurring your words and not wearing any pants?" Ok, so summer time shouldn't be an excuse to have a more drinks but gawd damn it's hard not to have a few. Everywhere you go it seems like a good excuse to have a drink. "Well we did just finish the laundry..." or "I'm going to mow the lawn later, is 9am too early for a Caesar?" or "Is this Baileys on my cereal?". I guess that the warm weather actually effects your judgment and forces you to concede one to the liquor gods once in a while. It's how you control the desires that keeps you flying the straight and narrow. Anyways wherever you are, have a few cocktails on me and don't feel guilty about it, it's the summertime.

The Bartender

"What can I get ya?"

I know, I know I used to go to the bar, think that I was something I wasn't, chat up the waitresses and make tasteless jokes to the bartender, but was I seriously like these people? Man alive these people make me stop and ponder... Do they really think that I am someone who actually cares? I love the "Listen, I'm an old man now but when I was young bla bla bla" or the "I know! I used to work in a bar myself, bla bla bla" or even better "Can you make a zuckerberg? I always drink zuckerbergs. Sorry? What's in it? Well, Umm I'm not sure, is it Baileys and something?" Everyone feels like by watching Cheers all those times that they actually sat next to Norm and Cliff and tossed a few back. Why is it that every Tom, Dick and Harry feels like they need to explain something to the Bartender about where they're from or why something works the way it does? Or let on that they are of somesort of importance? NOte to all of you bar humans: We are not your friends. Leave us alone. Tip accordingly.

Can ya tell that I just got home from the bar?

Softball Glory

17 years.

17 years ago was the last time that the Peach strapped on a ball glove and took to the diamond. Last night at Centennial Park in Rossland, BC; the Peach donned a 22 dollar Walmart mitt, a pair of old ultimate cleats and his worked-in Blues Jays cap and regained his place at shortstop, for "The Rush" men's softball team. Memories of crisply hit grounders, towering fly balls and cheers from the dugout flooded back. The butterflies crept in as he walked to the plate. The nerves showed as he booted his first 2 plays in the field. Emotions settled. Nerves dissipated. A double play was turned. A homerun was hit. Softball was being played. Things have changed since Little League. Sliding was outlawed, pickles were gone and chilled beer replaced water between innings. But thou rules have been altered, the crack of the bat, the snap of a ball into a glove and the smell of the fresh grass were the same.

17 years later, Peach was back at his place at shortstop.

The Life and Times of a Homeowner...

Well, we've been in our place for a week and things are really starting to come together. There are still a few bags and boxes that need to be unpacked but for the most part we are home. Up until this past week and a half chores around the house were always for my parents or at a rental and were tedious... "Kyle, mow the lawn; Kyle, clean out the garage; Kyle, move the firewood; Kyle, trim the hedge!" Well those days are over and the days of me doing work for me are on! As an example, yesterday I trimmed the Apple tree and turned over the garden in time to plant it in a week or so. Today I went and stole a load of gravel and tried to level the back alley (which is rutted to all hell) and watered the Cedar trees that I transplanted. I'm a regular Mr. Fixit! Next on the agenda: Cleaning up around the side of the house. See, it doesn't even bother me to say that. Well, I think I've just had an epiphany... people care when it's theirs. If that's the case, if I buy the school that I work at, I won't mind teaching all day, heck I might even like it! If I buy the grocery store, I won't mind having to go and buy groceries... Hey, I think I'm onto something.

We're Moving on Up!

What happened to the rounded brim?

Recently while teaching at a local high school I noticed a trend in head ware that I was unaware of before. The "skater" style or as I have branded them "Generation Bag-Ass", has taken a bold move in their head dress. Gone are the days of rounding the brim of your ball cap to that perfect arc that offers shade at all angles as well as protection from rain, snow and sleat. In, is the "I just bought it on the way to school" look that is 2 sizes too large, a dead straight brim, 45 degree twist, and even leaves the tags and stickers on the it? When did this style arrive? How did it come about? I took some time and looked around online to see where it all started and guess who I found? You got it Fitty (50) Cent! Man, that guy barks at white guys, screams that he's always being picked on my the man and who do all the little white wannabes copy, yup Fitty! When did the youth of today throw this personal choice of style out the window and welcome in this bag-ass, I shot the Gansta look? I just don't get it. All the kids want is to standout and be different so they wear the exact same thing? In a generation where originality and uniqueness has been replaced with cookie cutter clones that act more as billboards than actual clothing styles; I can't even tell the kids apart! I recently had trouble telling if a student was a boy or a girl because of the droop-ass, 5950 New Era straight brim hat, DC tee-shirt wearing kid looked just like the 4 others sitting in the row. How am I supposed to know that Kris is a girl and not a boy? Is that Jon or Riley or Brady or Coey or Julie? Seriously with the goofy names that parents give their kids now a days that look more like typos than surnames it' bloody hard to tell. Then there are the "Lulu Lemon Yoga Girls" that can't tell the difference between "downward dog" or "walking the dog"...

Wait, that's another blog.

Who came first: Dogs or Dog Owners?

Here lies the question.

So you've got the Dog (Canis lupus familiaris). It is a domestic subspecies of the wolf and a mammal of the Canidae family. Over time, the dog has developed into hundreds of breeds with a great degree of variation. For example, you've got the Chihuahua that is no larger than a rat and the Great Dane that can reach heights of 3 feet and weighs more than 175lbs. There are different colours such as "red" or "chocolate" and a dog's coat can vary from coarse, short hair to long, curly, smooth hair in a range of patterns. Since the Dog is a ancient decendent of the Wolf it has a storied past. Dogs have been considered "Gods" (note the recipricol spelling), been used to guard precious stones and people, used in a variety of work settings, to kill unwanted rodents or venemous snakes and lizards, save people from extreme conditions and even been a source of daily proteins. The loyalty and devotion that dogs demonstrate as part of their natural instincts as pack animals closely mimics the human idea of love and friendship, leading many dog owners to view their pets as full-fledged family members. I believe this is where the problem started...

Now we look at the Dog Owner (Homo lovhis canis). They are a subspecies of man (Homo sapien) that broke away from our evolutionary line over 1000 years ago. This split was likely due to their inability to relate with their fellow man and their smaller cranium size. Like the Dog, the Dog Owner has developed into several breeds. They range from Granola eating, patchouli smelling Hippies that name their dogs after the great Native God of Nature, Glooskap; to plastic looking, crotch displaying Meg-hotel Heiresses that carry their dogs around in handbags to ensure that they don't have to clean up after their canine as their purse doubles as a pooper scooper (brand name?); to the "Our dog is our best friend" breed that seem to take a back seat to their dog's life and is at the beck and call of their canine, "Are you hungry Rex? Let's take Rex for a walk, he needs to get out of the house. Sorry, I can't leave Rex alone for more than a couple hours! Oh Rex, I know that Shitting on our bed is your way of telling us that you're lonely, let's spend more time with Rex this weekend. Call the Johnsons and cancel going to the Rolling Stones Concert, it's going to just be us and Rex this weekend!" Due to the Dog Owner's inability to distinguish the difference between friendship and instinct they now truely believe that their dog is their "Best Friend".

So we come back to the important question... who came first? When did dogs make the transition from guarding the Royal Gates to wearing plaid rain coats? Didn't anyone catch on that there was a change occuring? How did the guy who bought a Dog to get rid of his cobra problem decide to let the snake killer lick his face? Didn't the Gate Keeper's wife find it strange when she came home one day to find the Royal Guard Dog asleep on their couch with a massive pool of piss on the kitchen floor?

So maybe the question isn't who came first but who holds the evolutionary upper hand? Is a Dog Owner taking their Dog for a walk or is it the other way around. Who cleans up after who? In many cultures people who clean up the feces of another are considered to be lower on the social and in many cases the intellectual ladder. When was the last time you saw a dog doing chores around the house? If some one lived in my house for 15 years and never once cleaned up after themselves, I'd be a little peaved to say the least.

This is a complex issue that like Global Warming needs to be addressed. If everyone turns a blind eye or expects someone else to do something about it, the issue will only get worse. Do we want this problem to be our children's problem or our children's children's problem? Think Globally, act Locally. Have your Dog Owners spade or Neutered and end the problem in our Generation!

Welcome to "Rants from a Peach"

I'm such a hypocrite. Just back in the fall I remember myself bashing a friend of mine about her Blog. I was like "What is a blog anyways... It's just your way of getting attention and writing lies about your life to make it sound more exciting than it actually is!" Well here I am trying to get attention and writing lies about myself to make my life seem more exciting than it actually is.

First things first... (Is ASS CRACK the new CLEAVAGE?)

What's up with the pants on the kids now a days? Was there a memo sent out that said Ass Crack is Cool? They spend more of their day hiking those things up than they do trying to score 12 dollar packs of butts from the local convenience store. And now they decided that baggy isn't cool anymore so they went to 80's tight? They are all are about 30 lbs over their fighting weight, with muffin top spilling everywhere.

What are these jeans called... Levis - narrow leg, saggy ass cracks? maybe 5 - 0 - TERRIBLE? Let's just hope that they don't go Hammer Pants next...

Secondly... (An Oldie but a Goodie)

If Superman and the Flash ran a race, who would win? See I'm thinking that Supe is the fastest thing around. Sure running is not his thing but shit he was able to go around the world so quickly that he made time go backwards! Seriously let's see old Flash try to get up to that speed. I don't think so. I know what you're going to say... But Superman has all the other wicked super powers and Flash is just about the speed... To hell with you. Supe is from the planet of Krypton and Flash is a scientist who spilt something on himself (maybe that's the spider guy?, whateva)

I don't think that Supe would lose a race to a scientist, do you?